One of the pitfalls of self-help is that we can often use it to avoid deep change. We like it because the self that needs help and the self that gives help are one and the same. In this loop, we are in control of defining the need, and we are in control of providing the help we think our need needs. Unfortunately, too often we fail to see the depth of our needs and the shallowness of the help we offer ourselves. Self-help aspires to making you a butterfly, but instead it only